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SQUIRTING CAN BE a little frightening the first time you see it, whether you experience it IRL or watch a professional do it in porn. But you may also find yourself wondering: Why am I so turned on by this?
Squirting is one of those sex practices that’s earned a cult following. There’s something undeniably attractive about a person with a vulva releasing fluid in the midst of sexual ecstasy. Though squirting doesn’t necessarily happen at the same time as an orgasm, it may still be a delicious relief for your partner if they’re down to try it. “I love the powerful release, as well as the sheer display of it,” adds porn star Jiz Lee, who contributed a section on squirting to the book Girl Sex 101.
If your spouse is enjoying squirting, helping them attain that delicious release could also provide you with a feeling of satisfaction. “Squirting is a visual confirmation that is very satisfying to our brain,” Kenneth Play, a sex educator whose instructive squirting video (link NSFW) went popular on Pornhub, recently told Men’s Health. “It informs us that we’ve succeeded. It registers to us because it looks the same as male ejaculation, so it causes a dopamine reaction that tells us we’ve won.”
But what is squirting? And how can I make my partner squirt, assuming they’re down to attempt it? There’s a ton of misinformation surrounding squirting out there, which doesn’t make finding the answers to these queries any simpler. The sex act is massively under-researched, argues Lola Jean, a sex educator and self-proclaimed “Olympic Squirter.”
Don’t worry, we’ll get to how to encourage your partner to squirt in a little while. First, let’s address a couple of the fundamental questions.
Can every vulva owner squirt?
Mainstream porn has caused some viewers to assume that squirting is a lot more prevalent than it really is—in truth, some vulva-owners don’t squirt.
“Some people squirt once or with orgasm, some repeatedly, and some not at all,” Lee explains. Still, the majority of vulva owners claim to have some squirting capacity. A 2017 survey indicated that 69% of vulva-owners between the ages of 18 and 39 had experienced ejaculation during orgasm.
What is squirting, anyway?
When some individuals with a vulva are sufficiently excited, they’re able to “squirt” a clear-ish liquid via their urethra—kind of like how people with a penis are able to ejaculate, but in this instance, the procedure has nothing to do with reproduction.
Squirting fluid may come in a range of amounts. “Ejaculation might appear as fluid that expels in a squirt, gush, or just a drip,” Lee notes. “It can be a huge flood soaking the sheets or just a small puddle or butt print found after sex.”
According to 2013 research, the quantity of ejaculate vulva-owners produce during squirting may vary from 0.3 mL to more than 150 mL. Some bodies simply squirt more than others, and hydration levels may affect the volume of ejaculate, too. “It doesn’t mean you did a better job if there was more fluid,” Jean explains.
Is squirt the same as pee?
Nope! “It’s understandable that people might think it’s urine, since it comes from the same hole,” Lee adds. “While it’s true that people can urinate during sex, [ejaculate] is a different fluid with a different chemical make-up.”
The actual content of this fluid has long been a source of controversy, but here’s the latest, according to a 2021 literature review: anatomical investigations have demonstrated that squirt originates in the Skene’s glands and contains prostate-specific antigen (PSA), which is generally seen in prostate fluid. We also know that ejaculate varies from urine in its creatinine and urea content.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what squirt is—for many individuals with a vulva, squirting feels nice, so let’s concentrate on the pleasure-giving component of this miraculous biological activity.
Now, will you explain to me how to make a partner squirt?
Almost. Before you and your partner get down to work, ask yourself: Who is this for?
“Squirting isn’t always accompanied by an orgasm, and not everyone finds it pleasurable,” Jean explains. A 2021 study of 28 squirters revealed that some participants felt embarrassed by their bodies’ natural pleasure response or thought the experience to be unpleasant, while others deemed their squirting ability a “superpower.”
Do you want your spouse to squirt for their sake, as you want them to have the most wonderful sexual experience possible? Or do you want them to squirt for your ego? If it’s the latter, then you and your companion shouldn’t try squirting. Ask your partner whether squirting is something they’d want to try. If squirting doesn’t appeal to them, continue with alternative sexual acts you’ll both love.
If you’re both down to try it, here’s what to do next.
First, prepare your bodies. Make sure your spouse is well hydrated. Since you’ll probably be using your fingers, you should wash your hands and make sure your nails are clipped and filed to prevent creating cuts or abrasions.
Next, prepare your space. Squirting may become fairly wet, and if you or your partner are anxious about creating a mess, you probably won’t enjoy yourself. “Lay down a large towel, a mattress protector, or a sex blanket like the kind Liberator makes to make clean-up easy and lessen concerns about ‘wetting’ the bed,” Lee advises.
Again, if your partner has never squirted before, expecting a cascade could seem like a lot of pressure. Talk to your spouse about what might feel best to them. If they’d rather not put down a towel, that’s fine—you can always wash your sheets after sex if you need to. Of course, if your spouse understands they can gush like Old Faithful, they may be willing (and eager!) to apply some type of mattress protection.